little pink raindrops

I want to go back to school.
I am eager for the time when I will have something to do, and to keep me occupied, so I don't feel so lazy.

plus, school means that I may actually get to buy some jeans that don't have rips in the ass.

and maybe some shirts that fit.

but for now, I sit in a little pink raindrop, and....I don't even know what.
don't ask me about the raindrop either. it rained today.

Waves

I like to think that I am steady.
But I also except the fact that maybe
I might actually be quite insanely unpredictable
or something.
But usually,
I'm pretty consistent.
I don't change my mind a lot
unless I'm
really
really
confused.

But I'm not right now.
so it's all good.
I like to say that
and usually
it's true
'cause in the long run,
usually,
it's all good with me.


and truthfully,
I hope it's all good with you too
just be honest about it,
and if you are so accepting,
just accept
and be happy
because then
there's no need for declarations
of security
and people will see
that you really are happy
and not just that you're trying to seem unfazed by all around you
but still
don't think I'm angry
'cause I'm not
don't try and make yourself distant
because if you are distant
then it's obvious
and there's no need to declare it
because that just makes you seem insecure.
anyways, it's not like this will actually make any positive impact on anything.
in truth, I'm more likely to be taken the wrong way and judged by the wrong people.
But that's ok, because at least I know that i don't mean anything bad by this
and that I'm really not just sitting here angrily venting, but calmly pondering.
And I'm gonna stop pondering soon.
and do something more constructive.
What are YOU gonna do?

in matters of the heart.or mind, or soul...

I really do not make any sense whatsoever. and I don't think that's fair to anyone. but I can't really make it any better, because I don't really understand it myself. and that's really quite frustrating. as I'm sure it is to others as well. but still, it's my fault, and so I suppose it should be known that I, being not sane of mind, am just really confusing myself and should probably just figure out what the hell I'm doing.or what I want. but even when I figure that out, I probably won't go seeking it, snce I've already wreaked so much havoc.yet still, I delude myself.

Stasi

something's got to be done.
but I seem to have trouble doing it...
excuses can only take me so far.
I will find the time.
I suppose I have to.

I like you a lot.