Oh, the struggles of love.

She flops down sullenly, her lanky frame not quite seeming to fit the chair. One long leg is thrown over the arm of the recliner, the other stretched far in front of her. She leans her head back wearily, listening to the chaos in the next room. "I've had enough of this today," she thinks. "let someone else handle it." Just then a little blond head appears, running like a thunderbolt to who knows where. She reaches out a practiced arm, snatching the little bugger before it can make any more mischief. Her lazy posture makes a perfect comfy place to snuggle into, and the little ball of evil settles right down, for the moment. Smoothing down tousled golden hair with one hand, she rests her face on the fingertips of her other as as another burst of giggles and yelling comes from the next room. "We've had enough of this today," she says. "we'd better go do something about it."

Cold

I'm cold,
but never can I seem
to make a reaction
find an attraction
something like a sunbeam.
Never a blanket,
a heater,
a friend,
will come at my bidding,
though I can pretend.
I'd have to get up,
but because I am freezing
that's not a thought that I find most appeasing.
even now, with this thought in my head,
I'm choosing to just write a poem instead.
oh woe is me, woe is me,
why must I choose to be so fucking lazy?

I had too much coffee today.
I feel alone.
and defeated.
I'm not going to try anymore.
but that doesn't mean that everything will go as expected.
I can always just pretend that its all the same.
and do
whatever the fuck I want to.

its 10:40 P.M, do you know where your thoughts reside?

yes I know, seems like I was trying too hard to sound deep and artistic on that title. but I don't care. it came to me. I was just thinking. and then I realized that I didn't know what I was thinking, really, but I knew how I felt. And now I realize, that its hard to find words for feelings, as there are more feelings than words. Some would call this "mixed feelings" and others, "marmalade", but I think, that people just got lazy with naming things, and shoved everything they didn't feel like naming into the "other" category.

I haven't taken pictures in a long time. not that I took a very wide range of photos anyway. ah well. that doesn't mean I don't value the ones I do take. Its fun, and I do it when I feel like it and thats just fine with me. zen. thoughts, unnamed feelings.

wow. I guess I'm not done after all. in going to find my mood emoticon on deviantart, I chanced across, ta-da!! neglect! now thats not how I would say I'm feeling right now, but as sub-categories in that little feeling, I found quite a few which sum up the day for me:
Alienated
Defeated
isolated
insecure.
now, thats not exactly all right now what I'm feeling, but its all come up at least once today. and now, just a twinge of loneliness. But that's ok, I can deal with that, and be the bigger person. Can't I?

for you love, I'd do just about anything.

otherwise, I had a pretty good day.